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So Long, iPhone: Apple’s Greatest Hits Are Being Relegated To The History

Time inevitably wins in the end.

Apple’s products are not immune to the effects of time.

John D. Stoll explains in an article for The Wall Street Journal how the destroyer of all things will eventually reach Apple.

“Polaroid. Walkman. Palm Pilot. iPhone?” (Antlers tipped to Philip.)

People are fond of iPhones. But were you aware that we will all face death eventually? Where now is your god?

Well done, WSJ.

If the past is any indication… The most popular handheld device in the United States will one day reside in a museum alongside the digital camera, the calculator, the pager, Sony’s Walkman, and the Palm Pilot.

It’s almost as if technology is inextricably linked to the period in which it exists. Weird. The Macalope should fax some individuals regarding this.

Consider that during my senior year of high school in the mid-1990s, I spent one hour per day in a room full of electric typewriters learning to type.

Where have you disappeared to, Mavis? A nation casts its lonesome gaze upon you.

Throughout the majority of the 2000s, Apple was the king of the next big thing: the iPod, the MacBook Air…

People thought the MacBook Air was pretty cool when it was first introduced, but it was not an immediate sales success.

…the iPad and the iPhone

Does that list lack any items? What words are similar to Snapple Botch? Yes, the Apple Watch is a tremendous success, but it was initially labeled a “failure” by analysts, and this preconception must never be challenged, regardless of how many units Apple sells.

Instead, Stoll emphasizes the conventional wisdom regarding Apple’s offerings.

Apple has not achieved a breakthrough in television, has had modest success with its watch, and has stumbled in music…

A “stumble”? Does Stoll’s web search function not work?

Apple Music’s U.S. subscriber count has just surpassed Spotify’s.

Only for Apple would the Watch be a “failure” (or even a “modest success”) and Apple Music a “misstep.”

Let us now turn to the person we would ordinarily consult for the final word on Apple.

Former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer told me Thursday, “It’s difficult to be a one-trick pony.”

The Macalope has just raised his eyebrows to the point where they reached halfway down his back. He had no idea he was capable of doing that.

“It’s incredible to do one. It’s incredible to accomplish two. How about three?

Despite being the owner of a professional basketball team, Ballmer appears to have some difficulty counting three-pointers.

He stated that Apple’s Mac product line is one trick and the i-Series (iPhone or iPod) is another.

You have your Macs and then your whatsits. Yer goobers. I refer to them as “thingamajigs.” If I can put it in my mouth, it doesn’t matter to me.

Steve, we’ve missed you. After your departure, the Macalope had to retire the Winotaur. The company was no longer throwing large, sweeping haymakers that were connecting with nothing.

Therefore, Apple was successful with Macs… and anything with an I prefix. Okay. This naming convention was certainly unfortunate. Since the original iPod and iPhone were quite different products, if they had known their success would ultimately hinge on this, they might have chosen different names for them.

Boy, the Macalope approached this article with skepticism, but when you stack a bunch of conventional wisdom and then top it off with a quote from someone who infamously failed to compete against the company, it sure… uh… makes sense.

Nope. Still laughable.

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The article above was written by the BestTopReviewsOnline team, which includes many of the US’s most knowledgeable technical experts. Our team includes well-known writers with extensive experience in mobile phones, computing, technology, photography, and other fields.

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