Love, lust and adventure – while the latter in the first year after birth for many young parents as “parenting adventure” clearly wins, the feelings about the topic “couple” back in many. To a certain extent, this is perfectly normal and neither the young mom nor the young dad or even the baby is to blame for this sometimes unacceptable situation. Just as you live a happy couple relationship with the baby, read here.
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Zweisam, dream and soon lonely?
First came the romantic togetherness, which ends in a happy trinity. But a few weeks after the birth, many parents wish for one or two bizarre moments.
Especially in the first half year after the birth of a baby, such moments are not always feasible or even plannable. Also, the mother is often tired when the baby is asleep and her sense of togetherness is sometimes not as pronounced as the partner may desire.
Also, with a small baby always rough things lie. These are also waiting for their time. All this can severely limit the possibility for caresses and love experiences. However, ordinary conversations can often provide solutions to the parent-couple dilemma.
Get out of the family cave
Even if the media love and harmonious parent couples, who master the balancing act between lovers and parents passionately, show again and again: Think in the perspective of a Stone Age man and they come to insights that help you to look more relaxed on your relationship.
From an evolutionary point of view, the Stone Age woman was intensively caring for the baby in the family cave while the dad kept hunting. Some parents become common in the first months of babies to cave dwellers, who then threatens to fall together with the blanket on the head.
Whether in the family or alone – leave room for free, which allow you to take a deep breath and gather new impressions far away from everyday family life.
Especially for mothers who breastfeed, this is not always easy to organize. Taking a shower in peace or enjoying a quick coffee with a friend without a baby is still often possible and usually has a very positive effect on your mood.
Even little things encourage a love
A loving SMS, bringing your favorite chocolate with the weekly shopping as well as a spontaneous kiss – just like that. Also if everything is about nature, couples should pay each other little attention.
Even though the baby-free moments are unpredictable, keep in mind that you can still enjoy a high level of privacy with a tiny baby. As soon as it conquers the world curiously and learns to speak, one or the other love statements and gestures are not intended for the eyes and ears of your little one.
In the first year of a baby’s parents also influence when it moves where and do not have to worry about funny moments of surprise.
Plan who can and does like it
Sex on schedule. What sounds cruel to some couples may well be an organizational way for others (who are looking forward to anticipation) to be closer again.
Looking back at the time when school and parents determined their time, there were similar situations in which a couple had to wait longingly for each other. For those who prefer it willingly and spontaneously, it merely means to take advantage of the hour.
Although it is to be noted that it is often more about the favor of the minutes. But even small, amorous pleasures can kindle the passion for each other excitingly.
Also, it often helps to reorient yourself not only temporally but also locally. The former play area marriage bed changes very fast with many couples, to the comfortable parents’ bed, in which a baby feels sheltered and protected. Discovering new places of sexual desire often creates fun, adventurous and inspiring moments.
Expectations, thoughts and feelings do not always match
Especially for many women, it is almost confusing or linked to feelings of inner torment and overburdening. On the one hand, they want to be a good mother, handle everything in the household, maybe keep an eye on and master a lot of their work, and also cultivate all friendships and social contacts.
Furthermore, the body is programmed in many moms still entirely on the big draw of the offspring and biologically does not see the production of new again. A circumstance that can lead to the fact that the desire for sex can be significantly reduced.
For example, some breastfeeding women are aware of the problem that, when touched on the chest, they can hardly “spontaneously” switch over their feelings. On the one hand, the sense of familiarity, closeness and being with the baby arises as soon as the breast is touched.
On the other side are the hot, erotic thoughts that, however, can easily be blocked by the former feelings. Also, a mom experiences and communicates so much human closeness and warmth with her baby that at certain points she cannot always respond appropriately to the touch of her partner and feel the sensation of too much body contact.
A point that is difficult for many men and where it is essential to talk about it. Patience and at first only a bit of closeness and cuddling, which then gradually intensify, most couples successfully carry over this phase.
Conclusion: With Baby everything is different
Whether the time organization, the financial possibilities or the organization of shared experiences – life with a baby and later with one or more children changes the previous relationship.
If togetherness has so far determined the coexistence, in the next few years, it will become a situation in which parents’ parents occasionally have to prove their organizational talent, willingness to compromise and their affection for one another.
Points at which a couple of relationships tends to grow and which usually make love even stronger. Even though life with a baby is different, a pair of psychologists have a basic tenet: if a maximum of one out of every five interactions between couples is perceived as negative, couples are considered happy.
A scientific insight that young parents should use to look at their relationship.