Fathers often suffer from the loss of undivided attention and tenderness – at last the baby is there and the parents should burst with pride and happiness. But when the rosy expectations of the new life are overshadowed by the often tedious everyday life of a baby, it is not unusual for the young parents to be tense.
The relationship is head first
One thing is certain: Life with a baby initially turns the relationship upside down. The center of life shifts to the baby and the satisfaction of his needs: the mother must be breastfed, wrapped and calmed by the mother around the clock. The attention and tenderness that used to be given to the man will now be given to the baby.
No wonder that intimate moments with newly-baked parents in the first few months are too short, not to mention a love life . Especially the intense time that the mother spends with the baby and the intimate situation with breastfeeding gives some fathers cause for jealousy.
On top of that, men also have to take on the role of father: with a baby, they have more responsibility, they have to provide the family with financial support, and they have to go to work every morning after a sleepless night.
Ways out of jealousy
Due to the intimate mother-child relationship, fathers feel superfluous and back in the time after birth. These negative feelings can quickly turn into jealousy. Instead of ignoring the resentment, fathers should deal with this feeling and its cause. This is the only way to prevent them from getting further and further away from their partner and the baby.
Fathers can do something to build an intense relationship with their child while relieving the partner. But even women who focus on the baby should gradually give their partner more space in their lives. With these tips, dads find easier from the jealous trap.
- Looking for a conversation: Even if it is often tricky, jealous fathers should speak openly with their partner about their feelings. Ideally, the couple will find a universal solution. But also fathers can be a good point of contact: An exchange of ideas often results in ideas that can be transferred to one’s situation. Fathers may also contact a therapist or family counseling center.
- Close body contact: Especially when breastfeeding fathers have a great advantage when it comes to calming the baby: they do not smell like breast milk. With flatulence and abdominal pain, fathers can carry their baby around in a baby sling. The body heat and movements relieve the pain and the baby comes to rest.
- Become active: Instead of jealously looking at the mother-child relationship, fathers should be active. There are so many ways to build a close relationship with the baby: Fathers can bathe, cuddle, play, bottle or bed the infant. Through an intimate contact, jealousy and envy soon have no chance. By the way, if the father spends more time with the baby, the mothers will benefit as well: during the child-free time, they can take a shower, read a book, meet a friend or sleep.
- Involve the father: As soon as women realize that their partner jealously reacts to the baby, he should be more involved in everyday life. Especially young mothers are reluctant to give tasks and sometimes look critically, whether the father can wrap the baby just as well, bath, put on or put to bed as they do themselves. However, the assumption of these everyday tasks is essential to the father-child relationship to strengthen.
- Schedule time for two: When the rhythm has settled with the baby, couples can slowly find their way back to togetherness. To make the relationship intimate, small gestures such as a delicious dinner at home, a nice movie or a massage are often enough. If you have the opportunity to hire a babysitter, you can use the time for a visit to the cinema or a visit to the restaurant. Just a few hours alone with the partner often work wonders.
- An intimate mother-child relationship can lead to jealousy in the father
- Fathers often suffer from the loss of undivided attention and tenderness
- Fathers should not ignore feelings of resentment
- Conversations with the partner, other fathers or therapists can help
- Fathers should actively contribute to the daily life of babies
- Small breaks for the young parents often work wonders