What could be better than just being in love? Everyone knows the exhilaration when a look in the eyes of the beloved person increases the heartbeat and the sky is full of violins. It is a time when the partners give each other intense physical and emotional closeness and find deep fulfillment in it. But how can this shared enjoyment of love and intimacy be shaped in such a way that it can be experienced together in later, more mature stages of a relationship? Or are the proverbial butterflies in the stomach reserved for those who are just in love?
The beginning is curiosity
At the beginning of a love relationship, we discover the partner in all its facets and enjoy this exploration trip to the fullest. We get to know his quirks and preferences as well as his body and look forward to the next encounter after every sparkling get-together in which we can find each other anew. This joy of discovery creates a desire for each other and is already one of the keys to the preservation of a fulfilled love life. So how does the curiosity about the partner last for longer? And with which one arouses in return the interest of the partner even after years again and again?
Create your space
The answer lies in one’s space, which both partners create and maintain for themselves – independently of each other. Out of this room, the two lovers come out to enjoy each other in a new encounter, and in this room, they withdraw again in good time. Essential here is the recognition and acceptance of the other as an independent and sovereign being that belongs only to itself. This also gives a sense of when it is time to leave, to leave the partner time and space for themselves.
On the one hand, this space means the inner attitude that enables you and your partner to experience yourself as an independent and – despite all love and dedication – free people. On the other hand, this space also accurately describes the way you shape your life, your everyday life and your relationship – with and without each other. The possibilities for designing your space are manifold:
- own interest groups
- the regular exercise of a hobby without the partner
- the cultivation of one’s friendships
- also go alone on vacation
- in the typical house live in a separate room
Especially your bedroom can provide a very pleasant and delightful distance with sexual listlessness, from which you can approach the partner again or again to invite yourself – and then, if you and your partner really feel like it.
In order to be able to shape a partnership in this way, it is very important to know yourself well and to feel your own limits. Spending enough time with oneself and in silence – for example in nature – can be very beneficial here. The careful handling of one’s own needs is a basic prerequisite for being able to respond to the needs of the partner and to respect the limits thereof. This also means saying “yes” only when you really feel like a “yes”. This is particularly true for the invitation to the erotic game, which represents an enormously important factor for the experience of fulfillment in a partnership for most people. An authentic “no” at the right time is therefore one of the pillars of the base, to thrive on lust and eroticism. This applies to freshly in love as well as for the couple in a more mature relationship stage. THis will give you a feeling of good mood.
When the tingle disappears and the lust for the partner is not as strong as in the initial phase of the relationship, it does not necessarily indicate underlying issues. In the course of a partnership, different aspects of co-existence gain importance and lose others. This is an entirely natural process on the path of togetherness that enriches and invigorates the shared experience. Crucial is only, whether the two partners feel comfortable with each other. If one of the two partners begins to suffer, a closer look at the existing relationship pattern is recommended.
A new sexuality
On the way to a mature partnership, based on the respect for the independence of the other, there is often a new understanding of sexuality. It is a playful, gentle exchange between man and woman, which – unlike in the classical understanding of sex – is not focused exclusively on the climax and the concomitant satisfaction and relaxation. Instead, the lovers learn here by discovering the erotic slowness entirely new qualities in an exchange with her partner and ultimately know this late. Old-established patterns are broken up by allowing man and woman to meet and get to know each other on a higher sexual level. A level that is very close to female sexuality,
So, if you’re suffering from sexual boredom, maybe it’s time to think about another form of the human and erotic encounter – one that rekindles the fire of your love life. Have fun discovering!